It's Christmaaaas!

We put our Christmas tree up yesterday, we didn't have one last year because we figured we wouldn't be here so there was no need for one. But Yasmin WAS MEANT to come here for New Years (I'll get into that in a minute) so we thought we needed one so it still "felt" like Christmas for her, lol. We only bought a cheapish one because it'll only get appreciated for a few days! It actually feels like Christmas this year for a change!





About the whole New Years situation, we found out Yasmin's next operation for her other eye is 22nd December. I know it can't be helped but to me it's such a shame that she'll be recovering over Christmas and she'll have to have those bloody drops all over Christmas and New Years AND regular check ups in Manchester!! To me, they should have scheduled it a few days later or earlier thinking. Ah well, has to be done unfortunately. But anyway, she was meant to come down here with us on the 29th for a week, but her mum feels a bit iffy about the whole thing now. Obviously I know she's bound to be worried, but going from how I'v worked it out, she'll have ten days at home to heal and relax with her mum before coming here, she should be fine considering she was fine five hours after the operation (and bearing in mind this is an operation that patients normally get discharged from the same day, it's only because we live so far that Yasmin stays over). It'll just ruin mine and Nolan's Christmas if she can't come :( I've planned so many things, bowling parties, cinema, New Years Eve family party, etc. Hope she'll be allowed to come down, because every time I bloody speak to Yasmin it's "I coming down to Cardiff after Christmas yeah Kimmi?" so she'll be absolutely gutted if she can't come! Fingers crossed!

Yasmin's operation

So Yasmin had her operation 7:30am Wednesday morning which meant we had to get up for 2am so we could be in Manchester in time! Turns out we got there at 5:30am so we were way early! Better to be early than late though! So we went to the hospital once we'd met Yasmin's mum and her daidy and Yasmin of course! Once we got there, Nolan and Yasmin's mum had to go for her first appointment which was just to give her eye drops to swell her eye which would make operating easier, and to give her the magic cream for when she had her drip. Yasmin HATES eye drops, it's one of those things were there is absolutely nothing we can do to get her to take them (yes we've even tried bribery by buying her lots of toys, sweets etc) When the word "drops" gets mentioned she runs and hides and begs you "no drops now no Kimmi?" It's horrible, but I'll get to that in a minute.

So, Ceri and Nolan were getting Yasmin in her gown and everything and since it was parents only I was waiting in the parents waiting room, nerve wracking! So before her operation, Ceri brought her to see us, and bless her, she was in her little gown and hospital "bracelet" whimpering her little heart out. I know she's not even my daughter but gosh my heart was in my mouth! So they took her down and apparently she had a little cry and whimper but before she could have noticed anything they'd given her the drip and of course that magic cream is amazing stuff and she didn't feel anything! So we had a two hour wait while they did the operation (removed her cataracts and inserted an artificial lens into her eye) and of course she had to be in recovery for a good 30 minutes. So Nolan and Ceri were called to come and get her and her daidy and I waited in the parents room. Longest 30 minutes ever! Eventually Ceri came and called us in but warned us she was quite hysterical. I walked in and I've never even seen her like she was, shaking and crying hysterically, of course she had a patch over her eye and she was trying to claw at it to get if off but we had to restrain her because the light would hurt her eye straight away. And the nurses kept on trying to take her blood pressure and examine her etc but she was still in a state, it got me really angry when they were trying to grab her hand and things, I know it's their job but she was in no state to be grabbed and mauled, all she was doing was cuddling into us and crying!! I researched her hysteria and it turned out to be quite normal and called "post operative delirium". It's the whole idea of strangers, and being away from their family and comfort zone. But she doesn't seem affected now by it, she takes most things in her stride, she's a very brave little girl.

So anyway, this carried on for about 2 hours, at one point she was even crying "Kimmi, I want Kimmi, I want to go down to Kimmi" which made my heart ache so much, bless her. But she eventually calmed down, and I sat with her and held her hand while she was lying down with her eyes closed (she didn't want to open them because apparently all patients see after their operation for a few hours is a bright red light, which child wouldn't find that scary?) And I just talked to her about silly things like "what's your favourite colour...what's your favourite toy?" but it took her mind off it so can't complain, lol. After she had stopped crying, she was good as gold, whimpering a few times because of the pain in her eye but we quickly took her mind off it by taking her to the play room or offering her something to eat.

So that was day one, we left that day about 8pm and arrived the next day about 8am...when she was supposed to have her drops :/ she was not having it, not sitting still, not agreeing to lie back, nothing. And of course, she needed the drops to stop infection and to clean the eye etc so there was nothing left to do but hold her down and put them in. Sounds so cruel, but I've been reading online and a lot of parents have to resort to this, someone wrote "imagine your child was in hospital for an infection or lost the sight in their eye, how much worse would you feel?" and it's so true! The good thing is that she's gets over them five minutes after, we make a game out of it, she won't open her eyes straight after them, so we say "let's wait for Yasmin to open her eyes, hope she doesn't shout BOO when she open's them, that'll scare us!!" and of course she scares us, lol.

Here's a few pictures of the brave girlie...



Paisley cuddling Yasmin after her eye drops!







This picture of her in the playroom brings a lump in my throat, how she had been through so much that day and could still smile and play!



So, she has to have the drops 3 times in the morning and night, one type of drop every 4 hours and another type of drop every 2 hours. That's for two weeks along with keeping the eye patch on! Poor girl, but she has the drops then it's forgotten about, and she doesn't seem too bothered about the patch! And she's got the other eye being done in a few weeks too! I've been talking to her about it and basically preparing her for it! Not looking forward to it, which I imagine her mum and Nolan are dreading even more, but she has to have her cataracts removed before it starts affecting her school and things. So proud of her though xXx

Our little niece :)

We had our baby niece, Esme sleep over on Friday! I say baby because she is so teeny weeny, she's around 17 months old and still only in 6-9 months clothes! She's started to walk now, and gosh I was following her around everywhere incase she fell, her feet looked too tiny to hold her body, bless her! Even though she woke me up at 5am she cheered me up once I got the camera out ;) she is SUCH a little poser, pulls a cheesy, scrunched up face whenever someone takes her picture!











You can see I put out quilts all over the floor, because we have wooden flooring I was so paranoid she'd fall and hurt herself or something!

In other news, Yasmin's operation is next week. We've booked the hotel, got the time off so we're sorted, just need to pack now! I can tell how nervous Nolan is though, no one wants to see their child have an operation :| but I've tried to reassure him, she can't fear something she doesn't know about if that makes sense, lol. She won't even feel the injection because of the magic cream they'll give her and as far as she will know, she'll just be getting lots of toys and treats for no reason! She's a tough cookie aswell! I think we're more nervous than she is!

Winter's coming...heating's broken!

Great, Winter's nearly with us and our heating as packed in! Had the plumber over today and he was so lovely but came unprepared tools wise, lol. He had to get into my attic to examine the water tank or something and I had to give him a leg up because he forgot his ladder :| it was funny to be fair, lol. Then he had no torch to look around my attic so I had to give him a lighter to be able to see. What a palava!

So anyway, the pipes running from our attic water tank to the boiler in the bathroom are clogged so that's why the water isn't reaching the radiators which makes the house ICY cold. Seriously, in the morning your bones hurt because it's so cold! So it's a HUGE job and going to be very expensive...but these are the benefits of renting a home, I don't pay :) I feel slightly guilty that my landlords going to get a huge boiler bill but I asked if it was anything we could have done or prevented and the plumber did say it wasn't our fault and that the whole boiler system was 40 years old :O So, we've got to carry on in Arctic temperatures for a while longer until he prices the job and consults with our landlords! On a more positive note, only 3 weeks until we see this little face ;

Yasmin's 4th Birthday :)

Yasmin had her fourth birthday last week, she's the tallest four year old I know, lol. Had huge cuddles off her when she saw me but of course she went rooting for her presents straight away. We bought her quite a lot of clothes so I thought "she'll open them and just throw them to one side' but she held each garment of clothing up and pretended to be excited, bless. Her main presents were the Mickey Mouse Mega Bloks play set and the Buzz Lightyear talking figure. She'd asked for Buzz for AGES, so we were like "ok, if you're good you'll get Buzz". But when she opened her presents she noticed that he wasn't there, she tried not to look sad and said "doesn't matter Kimmi, I can play with your old Buzz Lightyear anyway" But I'd just hidden Buzz, and when I came out with him she was like "Kimmi, this might be Buzz!!!!" LOL! And when she opened it she screamed "BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!!!"

Here's a few piccies.














Pictures are a bit crappy because I only had my phone! Took her bowling on the Saturday with my sister Paisley (who she loves). She's never been bowling but it's safe to say she LOVED it. She won aswell, I literally came last, none of this "let the kids win business" lol, and I still lost! Then on the Sunday we all went out for lunch together with the family! It was a really lovely weekend, even though it was only the two days :( Yasmin wouldn't stop cuddling and kissing me and every five seconds she was saying "I love you Kimmi" bless her :) Aaaand, if you notice, she's looking OVER her glasses to be able to see, she's been wearing those glasses for over a month now but I'm not sure what good they're doing her, she bumps into things when she's wearing them. But she's got her operation in November so we're meeting her and her mum there in Manchester so we can be with her when she has the operation. Then staying in a hotel in Manchester so we can go home the next day with Yasmin, because Nolan didn't feel comfortable leaving her just a day after being under anaesthetic! So he's booked three days off, so we have five days in Anglesey ! Seen these gorgeous trainers aswell for her, so might buy them for her when she has her operation! I'm nervous for her :/

Beaches and Buzz Lightyear!

Just got back from Anglesey where I've been for ten days with my mum. Had such a good time with her and it get's harder and harder every time I have to leave :( AND I got to see my friends who I haven't seen for a year and a half! We went for a few drinks and a catch up, so glad we managed to finally get together after so long. It's so difficult being in different universities and being home at different times. But they've organised a trip to Cardiff next year to come and stay with me so I'll be looking forward to that :)

I got to have Yasmin to myself for three days too! I was glad because once Yasmin sees Nolan, then no one else matters, lol. My step-dad brought down my old Buzz Lightyear from the attic and Yasmin LOVED it. It's really scratched and the sound effects and wings don't work but it amused her for hours, lol! So I know she's going to love her new Buzz Lightyear she's getting for her birthday!





Nolan travelled down to Holyhead on the Friday straight after work so I phoned Yasmin's mum and asked if she could stay with me overnight- but I didn't tell Nolan. So when he got to my house at half ten he walked into our bedroom and saw Yasmin's little face tucked up in our bed :) He was so happy just to cuddle up to her and have her overnight (which we never do unless she's is staying in our house) She woke up in the morning, rubbed her eyes, stared confused at Nolan for a few seconds, then her eyes went huge and she jumped on him shouting "DAD!". He was made up!

We took her to Llandudno on the Saturday so we could go on the promenade and play in the arcades and have a go on the stalls etc. Don't you hate how you still end up spending like £10 in arcades and end up coming out with a crappy small stuffed toy, lol. But at least Yasmin was happy! Then we had chips on the end of the promenade which did no good for my diet ;)





We took her to the breakwater park aswell to feed the ducks and ended up spending about £3 on duck feed, lol! Only £3 but a lot for bloody duck seed! I'm glad it was so sunny and warm aswell, meant we could stay out all weekend then! Yasmin was a bit enthusiastic when she was throwing her duck seed into the lake and she fell over into a stinging nettle. She was so confused with the pain because it's an itchy pain isn't it? She was like "dad, it's really itching my hand....and now it's really hurting me dad!" So I quickly found her a dock leaf while she was crying and sidetracked her by buying her an ice lolly :)

My daidy Henry's bench









Great weekend in all, bought her some new trainers, pink dolly shoes and skinny jeans for her holiday (she's going in a caravan with her mum and their family next week). Plus her birthday next month! I've finished all her shopping, I'm on the ball this year!

Ps. This picture was so cute, her and my cat Jaffa would not stop following each other and walking up and down this path, lol. (I know it's a crappy pic)

New glasses

We noticed a few months ago that Yasmin could not watch television or look at a book etc without having the object no further than two inches away from her face. So a few months of doctor and specialist appointments later, we found out she has cataracts (which is what Nolan has, you may have noticed lol) So basically she has been seeing everything blurry all her life, and she now does this squinting thing with her eyes as a result of that bless her. So she's due to have an operation on her eyes soon to remove the cataracts but even after that she will still need to wear glasses. Buuuut at least she looks cute in them! :)

I picked her up from her mums house when I was in Holyhead and her mum Ceri warned me that she wasn't wearing them and she was having trouble getting her to put them on. So I thought uh oh we're going to have trouble today lol but she wore them ALL day for me, no winging or moaning. Her mum was very surprised!

There's no place like Home!

I'm going home on Wednesday...ten days with my beautiful mum :) AND I get to see Yasmin woohoo! It's been too long. It's her birthday in a few weeks, Nolan and I decided to get her the Buzz Light-year toy figure which talks back to you and has sound effects etc. It is slightly overpriced in my opinion for what it is, but hey she wants it so it's okay! Lol! Then we've got her some clothes and some Adidas Trainers (they're lush)and some jigsaws, puzzles, DVD's and some sweets :)I want to get her some more clothes and few more toys aswell. It's hard because she's got "two families" so to speak so she's going to get loads, plus I don't want to buy her things that her other family have got her, tricky lol! She'll be one spoilt little girl that's for sure :)

Missing home :(

I'm really missing home this month, I think it's because we haven't made our monthly visit home, next time we're going home is end of September for Yasmin's birthday :( I've got loads of ideas for her birthday and I'm going to totally spoil her :) Unfortunately, unemployment rates are the highest than they've ever been so I'm finding it so hard to find Summer work, as qualified as I am. It's disgraceful. Ah well. Yasmin's mum sent us a picture of Yasmin with straightened hair (not something I personally agree with but what can I do lol) and she looks SO MUCH OLDER!

Happy Birthday Nolan!

It's Nolan's 25th birthday today! Typically on a Wednesday, so we can't do much because Nolan's working today. I baked him a chocolate fudge birthday cake (he won't eat anything sweet apart from chocolate fudge cake weirdly). I'm so crap at baking cakes haha! This is probably the best cake I've baked which says a LOT!




I didn't get him a lot this year, we're not one for presents really, we'd rather spend the money on a night/day out or doing something! I blew up a nice picture of me and Yasmin (his two favourite people in the world) and bought a lush glass photos frame for it, and I just bought him little things like sour sweets and other bits lol (another thing he will only eat). He had a lot of money off people too so he can spoil himself for a change! I'm just waiting for him to get home now, we're going to have a glass of wine and a roast chicken dinner and he's choosing a film tonight, something I never let him do haha :) On the weekend we can do something better together :)

Sleepover with Esme!

We had our little niece Esme overnight on Saturday! She is the cutest thing ever, she's so small aswell, she's actually 1 year old can you believe it! We took her to Ynysangharad Park, it's this massive park of greenery with lush gardens, parks, sandpits and an outdoor swimming pool! She was really well behaved, but she was teething bless her, and the weather is so much hotter than what we're used to and combined with that she just had no appetite, but we just made sure she had loads of juice and little snacks. I put little ice chips in her juice so that it soothed her gums and cooled her down. It's the hottest day of the year down here! I woke up this morning to her sitting up and her cute little smile, she is so adorable, I wasn't even annoyed that it was 6am, lol.









We had a christening on the Sunday, Nolans best friends son, Joe. On our way to the service, our car broke down :( We managed to borrow a car and get to the service, but we had to leave and didn't go to the after-party. We had to get to a garage otherwise we would have been stuck 40 minutes from home! So, Joe, Zoe and Lewis we're sorry we missed your big day but we were there for the best bit at least :)

Lovely week while it lasted :)

Paisley (my sister) and Yasmin came down to Cardiff a few weeks ago! They were meant to stay a whole week, but it ended up being 5 days because our Nain was getting worse with her illness. I took them swimming, shopping, bowling, to the beach and we watched movies and baked together. At least we had a few good days I suppose. Here are a few pictures :)











My nain wasn't supposed to live past the weekend but she proved all the doctors wrong and lasted right until the Tuesday night! The funeral was such a lovely service, I think she would have loved all the attention :) Nolan was asked to be a coffin bearer which showed how much my nainy really loved and thought a lot of him. Made me very proud of him, nain would have been proud too. I suppose when I force myself to think positively, we're lucky that she wasn't in excruciating pain, yes she was in some pain, but as soon as it got unbearable for her, she was put into a coma. She didn't suffer like so many cancer sufferers do. And for that I'm so grateful.

Sleep tight Nainy Margaret

To My Dearest Family, some things I'd like to say,
but first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven where I dwell with God above,
where there's no more tears or sadness there is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight,
remember that I'm with you, every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on Earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again you were missed while you were gone,
as for your dearest family they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly as part of My big plan,
there's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man.
Then God gave me a list of things He wished for me to do,
and foremost on that list of mine is to watch and care for you.
And I will be beside you every day and week and year,
and when you're sad I'm standing there to wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth and all those loving years,
because you're only human they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry it does relieve the pain,
remember there would be no flowers unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you of all that God has planned,
but if I were to tell you you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain though my life on Earth is o'er,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best,
I'm still not far away from you I'm just beyond the crest.
There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb,
but together we can do it taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too,
that as you give unto the World so the World will give to you.
If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain,
then you can say to God at night my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.
When you are walking down the street,and you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace.
And when it's time for you to go from that body to be free,
remember you're not going you are coming here to me.
And I will always love you from that land way up above,
Will be in touch again soon,
P.S. God sends His Love.

Rest in Peace my beautiful nainy. You were my nain, my friend, my second mother and my hero, words cannot express how much I love and miss you. xxx